2014-02-19

MESSAGE DISTORTED BUT RECIEVED - DONT BE CRUEL TO A HEART THATS TRUE | Odd Animated Gifs To Ponder | Jokes and lyrics

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A Beggar asked a rich Bishop for Charity, demanding a pound. 

— ‘A Pound to a beggar! That would be extravagant.’ 

— ‘A Shilling then!’ 

— ‘Oh, it’s still too much!’ 

— ‘A twopence then or your Benediction.’ 

— ‘Of course, I will give you my Benediction.’

 — ‘I don’t want it, for if it were worth a twopence, you wouldn’t give it me.’





Much more if you 











Party Planning


An Englishman buys a horse and hires porters to take the horse up to his apartment on the fourth floor. The porters exert themselves and sweat. Finally they succeed in getting the horse to his apartment.

He asks them to put the horse in the bathtub.

After they finish the job, one of the porters asks him, “Why do you need a horse in the bathtub?”

The Englishman says, “Well, tomorrow evening I’m having a party at home. One of the guests will go into the bathroom, see the horse, come to me and say, ‘You know you have a horse in your bathtub.’ And I’ll tell him, ‘So what?’”

– Sion Rubi, Intelligent Jokes, 2004



On May 29, 1933, Harper’s Bazaar editor Art Samuels was awaiting a piece by the notoriously unreliable Robert Benchley when he received six successive telegrams:


AM TAKING CARE OF MY SICK MOTHER.
AM ACTING AS GUIDE FOR HUNTING PARTY.
AM INSPECTING NEW PACKARD ENGINES.
AM JUDGING ORANGE BLOSSOM CARNIVAL.
AM BEING INDUCTED INTO INDIAN TRIBE.
AM WORKING ON PICTURE WITH GRETA GARBO.

All bore the current date, but their origins were listed as Worcester, Massachusetts; Presque Isle, Maine; Detroit, Michigan; Miami Beach, Florida; Santa Fe, New Mexico; and Hollywood, California. Samuels wrote back GATHER YOU HAVEN’T DONE THE PIECE.

Benchley avoided another engagement by having his mother send this wire from Massachusetts:

SORRY I CAN’T ATTEND LUNCHEON TODAY BECAUSE I AM IN BOSTON. DON’T KNOW WHY I AM IN BOSTON BUT IT MUST BE IMPORTANT BECAUSE HERE I AM.

BENCHLEY















How many times have you heard someone say
"If I had his money, I'd do things my way"
But little they know that it's so hard to find
One rich man in ten with a satisfied mind

Dylan











Willy Mason - Live It Up

The sun don't set in Gettysville
The place that I call home,
A thousand people walk these streets
But we're still all alone,
This city's isolation
Like the drug that paves the roads.


Take the subway uptown
To my mother's place.
She's got a thousand friends
But all they know of her's, her face,
All alone inside her head
Her thoughts begin to race.

Live it up
Live it up they say
Live it up
No time to waste your life away.

Next door to me the ceiling leaks
The cracks stretch across the walls,
Like skeletons of dreams deceased
Too brittle to evolve,
He lies beneath his plastic sheets
Bitter and blind to all,
Shadows beneath his sunken eyes
Now taint all that he sees,
Like burned and blackened photographs
Life's easier a dream,
He settles for a cheap escape
Forgets all he believes.

Live it up
Live it up they say
Live it up
Things havn't always been this way.

I watched my whole world crumble
As I dried my mother's tears,
And learned to never stumble 
As I calmed my father's fears,
They say I've seen a lot
They say I'm wise beyond my years,
Though my castle may have crumbled
I won't face the world alone,
The youth has seen the rubble
And we're ready for the load,
As the city burns
My generation's shouting in the roads.

Live it up
Live it up they say
Live it up
Things havn't always been this way

Live it up 
We better turn this boat around
If we keep on following the goals
Someday we are gonna run aground

Live it up
Live it up we say
Live it up
Because now its in our hands to make change

___________

Hear it, Go to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwNEtIyojEc






















































































































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